This article was influenced by a conversation with some of my closer male friends. The discussion was started from a statement in which I said (paraphrasing) It’s not a problem for us to be focused on handling our business.. Women are actually intrigued by Men who not only take care of their basic responsibilities, but excel at handing their business while striving to do better… never forgetting to keep the main thing.. the main thing.
At which point, one of my Friends said.. “I’m looking for my Michelle Obama.”
There are occasions where I’m writing an email or text – and I think.. this response is something I’d like to share with my awesome Luthas.com Leaders. With that being said, the rest of the article is based on my initial response.
First we need to define which qualities / characteristics our Michelle Obama has. It is impossible to find or acknowledge someone (or anything for that matter) – without knowing what we’re looking for.
A few qualities of our Michelle Obama could be, someone who has learned “how to” and \ or mastered the following:
- Focus on her strengths while managing her weaknesses
- Smile at adversity because she understands adversities are simply tests of will, commitment and character
- Minimize time spent chasing temporary things or impressing people who don’t appreciate her time, love and loyalty
- How to embrace and respect fulfilling moments with close friends and family, rather than disgressing from the moment to get on Social Media
- Not to judge a Man strictly based on his accomplishments, but on what he’s overcome.. his ambition and his passion for greatness
- How to be a strong woman, with a strong sense of herself.. who she is and where she comes from
- To be a good listener.. whether her Man is sharing work related experience, venting about his favorite teams horrible performance, reminiscing on life prior to her, nightmares that woke you up or your horrible singing voice. She soaks all in, digests it, offers her opinion or asks questions.. to show her interest.
- Companionship.. Keeps you company and stays awake regardless of what you’re watching, from Military Movies \ Documentaries, American History, 4K Action Movies, Dozens of cable series and most importantly the endless SportsCenter replays, Games and Sports talk shows.. to the point where she can probably argue Sports (in your defense) with your friends when you’re not around
- Knows what you’re feeling before you share what you’re feeling.. from the silence that takes place after your team loses.. to the sighs that mean anything from I’m hungry, thirst, aggregated or sleepy
- Rarely pressures you to do anything and puts forth her best effort not tamper with your comfort zones
- Understands your weird obsessions (Blonde, Honey Blonde, or Light Brown Hair, pink lipstick covered by lip gloss, pink nails and red pumps) even though these may not be her favorites.. she does it because you like it
- Enjoys learning new things, being creative and consistently surprising everyone with her creations
- Independent enough to want to do everything for herself, but enjoys when you take control and be the Man
- Mastered cooking, creating new dishes and presenting everything just right on the plate
- Knows how to shop, save and manage money effectively
- She’s just as beautiful wearing a scarf with no makeup as she is – when she get’s dazzled up.. which is why she’s able to get ready so fast (can’t beat that)
- Has strong values and principles that guide her decision making
Now look at it from Her point of view, it’s one thing for her to deal with you and it’s definitely an entirely another thing to keep her.
What kind of Man do we become? A Man who..
- Can articulate a vision that resonates with people
- Can enter a room filled with people from different cultural backgrounds – who may be Doctors, Hustlers, Lawyers, Priests, Politicians, Scholars, Blue Collar workers, Athletes, Convicts, Musicians, Intellectuals and Technologists.. adapt to the environment, switch dialects accordingly, establish productive relationships and leave a positive lasting impression
- Helps her loosen up and feel comfortable with taking risks, not doing things the traditional way and testing it out
- Be a Man amongst Men – whether its a Barber Shop, Gym, Sporting Event or Social Gathering
- Be humble – yet confident, never overestimating or underestimating your abilities… or the abilities of the people around you
- Have a wardrobe compatible for any Professional or Personal function.. whether its Corporate America, Church, the Caribbean, Hanging out with the Fellas, Couples night or a Romantic Dinner at an upscale restaurant
- Not only have Visions, but Communicate them boldly, committing to their success.. with or without support from anyone
- Regardless of the bank account balance, approach your profession like a professional, with the same energy you’ve had during orientation
- Do more than you are compensated for, always offering to help your co-workers, treating the janitors with the same level of respect as you do the Executives
- Admit to errors in judgement and take the same level of responsibility for your mistakes as you do in your successes
- Leaves notes around that remind her how special she is to you
- Can be transparent without fear of criticism, because she is not only your Woman but she is your Best Friend
- Can say “I Love You..” as many times as possible in a day.. while showing unconditional love and sacrifice
- Will never stop being appreciative
- Remembers your job is to Protect, Provide, Love, Teach and be supportive
- Surrounds himself with loyal people who shares the same vision of greatness
- Compliments her Quality of Life, values, principles, exceeds her standards, adds tangible and intangible value
The key to finding \ acknowledging your Michelle Obama is simply becoming her Barack Obama. Once you’ve committed to becoming a Great Man and are well on your journey.. your desires.. including your Michelle Obama will be magnetically drawn to you.